The Answer

That moment —

you know the one I'm talking about, right?

The one between sleep and awake when

suddenly,

you have a thought.

A perfect, simple little thought,

that exists on a plane untouched by the trials of life and hardship.

A thought to solve that problem

- the one that has been plaguing you all week - 

 a way to end world hunger,

to invent time travel,

meet a difficult goal.

To your exhausted mind, it is world changing,

life altering, problem-defying.

It is there, glaringly obvious at the front of your mind

for one, precious moment.

But, in the second

between one, slow blink and the next,

as your mind becomes aware of your body,

it disappears

or is attacked,

as they always are,

by logic and reason.

Conscious, the thought seems less like an answer

and more like a naive musing.

But, for that one moment,

it was powerful and hopeful,

and exactly what you were looking for,

and you spend the rest of your life

trying to get that feeling back.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 27

What You Wore Today:

Clothes:

• A white, collared dress shirt beneath a gray pull-over sweater
• Black jeggings
• Black socks
• Gray, high-heeled booties

Jewelry:

• A gold pendant necklace with a tree on it

Nails:

• Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in “Trouble Maker,” (500 (plum))
• Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat in “Clear,” (960)

Hair:

• Straight (because if I don't straighten it, it is puffy, curly and VERY annoying...)
• A “headband” made out of french-braided hair, parted to the left

Makeup:

• Mabelline Dream Pure BB Cream in “Light/Medium Sheer Tint”
• Almay Smart Shade Concealer in “Light/Medium,” (020)
• Covergirl + Olay Eye Rehab Concealer Cream in “Light Pale,” (330)
• Revlon Photoready Translucent Finisher
• Neautral smokey eye created with the Neutrogena Eye Quad
• Winged eyeliner with the Mabelline Master Graphic Liquid Eyeliner in “Striking Black”
• Mabelline Lash Sensational Mascara in “Black” on lashes
• Physician's Formula Blush/Bronzer duo in “Warm Nude”
• Salon Perfect Brow Defining Kit
• Mabelline Great Lash Mascara in “Clear” (for eyebrows)
• Covergirl lipstick in “Flame,” (300 (red))

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Seventeen

Bullet-Point Your Day:

• 7:45am – First alarm.
• 8:00am – Second alarm.
• 8:30am – Finally managed to pull myself out of bed and began getting ready for work.
• 9:05am – Packed my purse and played around on my phone after having finished with my makeup and hair.
• 9:25am – Left for work.
• 9:30am – Clocked in and began putting up the bounce house. We have Bounce & Play every other Tuesday/Thursday, where little kids can come in a jump in the bounce house or goof around in our indoor soccer field. It's a lot of fun, but the bounce house is VERY difficult to set up; especially when you're by yourself.
• 9:45am – Finished setting up the field house; sat down in an attempt to REGULATE MY BREATHING, OMG.
• 10:10am – Only two families have shown up so far—oftentimes, it is a hit or miss—and after having walked around a few times saying good morning, I am hiding out in the recreation office. Parents get weirded out if you stand off to the side, smiling at and watching their kids for two hours, even if it is your job.
• 10:30am-12:00pm – Walked a few rounds every fifteen minutes or so, making sure everyone was getting along and that the fans/seals keeping the air inside the bounce house were all secure. Quite a few more families showed up; probably the most people I've had in a while.
• 12:00pm – Bounce & Play is over! Began cleaning up all the toys and putting the bounce house away.
• 12:15pm – Clocked out and headed home; stopped to get a Dr. Pepper from Circle K on the way.
• 12:40pm – Sat down to eat lunch and rewatch last night's episode of Scorpion with my mom.
• 1:15pm – Went upstairs to lay in bed; checked various social media sites and drifted in and out of sleep.
• 2:15pm – Prepared my rabbits' lunch and dinner.
• 2:40pm – Left for work. Again.
• 2:45pm – Clocked in.
• 2:55pm – Usually, at this time, I would be heading over to the school to pick up our after-school kids, but they had early release today and were already at the center. Instead, I walked in to chaos, as someone had decided to let 40 kids put on roller-skates and topple over one another in the gym.
• 3:10pm – Took the kids over to one of the classrooms and worked on homework. More chaos.
• 4:30pm – Helped out with art.
• 5:00pm – Switched over to monitor the batting cages and had a “vending machine dinner,” which consisted of a Dr. Pepper and some chocolate, coupled with a bag of crackers I brought with me from home. After dinner, I kept an eye on the batting cages and finished reading “Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps,” by Kelly Williams Brown. A really helpful and insightful book!
• 7:00pm – Put away the batting cages (the machines are heavy and I probably almost knocked myself unconscious a few times while moving them) and hung out in the recreation office, waiting to see if anyone would show up for open gym. They didn't.
• 8:00pm – Clocked out and headed home (usually I have to walk home on Tuesdays, which I HATE doing after dark, but today I got a ride); stopped to get a Dr. Pepper from Circle K on the way. I drink a lot of Dr. Pepper...
• 8:15pm – Chatted with my parents for a bit about our day's activities and then fed the rabbits their dinner.
• 8:45pm – Began working on my online Math exam for school; today was the last day of classes before the next term—which begins in two weeks—and the exam was my final assignment. So, SO happy to be done with the course; Math is my least favorite subject.
• 9:40pm – UHHHHHHHHG, MATH........
• 10:15pm – FINISHED MY EXAM, YESSSSSSSS!! Unless I totally bomb the assignment, I should pass the class with a C. Not too bad, given my history with the subject. After a celebratory dance, I wrote up a few blog posts and played with the rabbits for a bit.
• 11:00pm – Took a shower and did all the obligatory before-bed stuff.
• 11:30pm – Climbed into bed. Usually I am already there, as I save the 10:30-11:30 hour for reading, but I did not have time tonight. I spent the next half hour checking social media and watching Youtube videos.
• 12:00am – Created tomorrow's To-Do list, plugged my phone in to the charger and shut off the TV. Goodnight!

. . . .

I will be participating in the 30 Day Writing challenge every day this month, but will not be posting all of them. If you're curious, you can view the list of challenges here (I switched day sixteen and seventeen).

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Eight

A Book You Love and One You Didn't:

As someone who has spent the majority of her free time reading these last few years, this is a very difficult question. I have read and loved a great number of books for many different reasons. I love the Harry Potter series because it embodies growth—from youth to adulthood—and reminds me of my childhood. I love A Series of Unfortunate Events because not every person you meet in life will be kind, and The Night Circus because sometimes you just need to believe in something, and that something is magic enough. I love the Mara Dyer trilogy because I enjoy reading about girls who are not afraid to get their hands bloody dirty, Percy Jackson for the quests and adventures, and The Darkest Minds trilogy because sometimes super heroes make bad decisions, too. I love the Infernal Devices trilogy for its representation of love that transcends time and the Across the Universe trilogy for hope that transcends galaxies. The Chaos Walking trilogy is a great representation of the harsh realities of war while modern contemporaries like Amy and Roger's Epic Detour discuss relateable issues like death, stress, love and loss. Miss Peregrine's Peculiar Children romanticizes peculiarity in a world where everything outside of “normal” is strange, and The Lunar Chronicles brings to life the classic fairy tales I knew and loved as a child with a modern twist; sometimes the princess needs to save herself.

There are so many more that I could name, but each of the above books and series has made me feel something at one time or another and that is why I love them so much. As for a book/books I did not love, it usually makes the list because I got nothing out of it – no feelings, emotion or personal attachment to either the story or characters. Sometimes this makes a book a quick, light read that I can enjoy for a few hours but, more often than not, I like my books to have a little more substance.

What are some books you love?

. . . .

I will be participating in the 30 Day Writing challenge every day this month, but will not be posting all of them. If you're curious, you can view the list of challenges here.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day Four

Ten Facts About Yourself:

1. I am the oldest of six children. Yep; I have four younger brothers and one younger sister. We are all very, very close and, though they can sometimes be annoying (my sister and I still argue over really stupid stuff sometimes), I wouldn't trade them for the world. Growing up, I hated being the oldest but now I love the role and the responsibility that comes with it.

2. Though I switched my major from Early Childhood Education to English/Creative Writing when I was a freshman in college, I keep finding myself working in positions that require me to teach children. First the day care, then summer camp and, even now, my job as a recreation associate has me helping kids with their homework every day after school.

3. I did not get to walk with the rest of my class during graduation. Senior year of high school was very difficult for me for many reasons. I was constantly sick and struggled with depression, which caused me to miss quite a bit of school. This resulted in my failing two very important classes – both of which were needed in order to graduate. I received my diploma a year later than all of my friends, after completing both of the classes online. I don't talk about this experience much because 1.) it was seven years ago, and 2.) I am still ashamed.

4. I suffer from anxiety. It used to be crippling, but I currently have a much better handle on it. I still hate change, though, and it takes a lot of convincing for me to make plans that do not involve my house/family and a good book. I still have bad days, of course, where I do not talk to anyone, but they are not as frequent as they used to be.

5. I had laser-eye surgery when I was three years old and I can still vaguely remember the experience. After it was done, I still had to wear glasses until high school—which was when my vision finally started to get better—only to have to pick them back up a year or so after graduation. Currently, my vision is not great.

6. I had to have two of my wisdom teeth pulled a few months ago, at the age of twenty-five.

7. My hair is naturally very curly/frizzy. No one ever believes this, though, because I have straightened it since high school.

8. I have never had a proper boyfriend. I was too shy (and not particularly good-looking) during  high school and though I have gone on plenty of dates since then, they have never progressed past the "seeing" stage. Usually it is my fault; I get scared easily and push people away.

9. I was given a stuffed blue cat by a friend of my mom's when I was only a few days old. Her name is Whiskers and I still have her.

10. I hated to write until a third grade English project. When I didn't complete the assignment on time, my teacher made me stay in during recess to finish it. We were supposed to write a short story and, eventually, I conjured up a situation in which four siblings were whisked off to a magical land by a talking black cat. I had a lot of fun with it and have wanted to be a writer ever since.

What are some interesting facts about you?

. . . .

I will be participating in the 30 day Writing challenge every day this month, but will not be posting all of them. If you're curious, you can view the list of challenges here.

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 2

Your Earliest Memory:

Growing up is to let things go – that embarrassing moment from middle school you thought you would never get over, your first crush, your first love, friends and moments that seemed to drift away without your realizing and, sometimes, the good memories that go along with them. You don’t mean to forget Christmases and birthdays, what your grandfather's face looked like, the name of your kindergarten teacher. It all disappears on its own – sometimes triggered back into your life at odd moments and sometimes not, but you still feel the absence of it; a great, wonderful Used To Be that is no more. I have a lot of “early memories” crammed into a corner of my mind I rarely visit, simply because attempting to sort through what actually happened and what my brain has conjured up in an attempt to fill these fuzzy holes within my memory is too great a task.

I have only lived three places my entire life; two houses and one trailer with my parents and our ever-growing family. We lived in a trailer park for the first two or three years of my life, moving out shortly after my brother was born. There wasn't a lot of room, but we didn't need it. I don't remember much from the time we spent there—I was pretty young—but I do recall a particularly fun Easter afternoon spent hunting colored eggs in our “backyard.” I relive the memory almost like an out-of-body experience; me, running through the grass in a cute Easter dress, trying to find the eggs before my cousins did. My twenty-five year old self does not find this memory particularly exciting or different (I have had many Easters since then), but, for some reason, this one sticks out in my mind.

I remember my laser-eye surgery (a very memorable experience for a three-year old), hiding on the staircase in an attempt to scare my cousin in our first house, dangling my legs out of our garage's second-story window with my father (despite my mother's protests), playing with my friends at school, threatening to run away over something silly, building my own, personal fort at the top of my closet in our second house, getting into trouble for jumping off of our deck onto a trampoline (my dad's idea), experiencing my first crush in seventh grade, cold, winter mornings in high school, playing bells at church, performing on stage with my school's choir and our backstage shenanigans during May Fiesta, our trip to Chicago, my first kiss... So many wonderful, dreadful, random memories came pouring out when I sat down to write today, and I was surprised by how fuzzy some of them have become; how difficult it was to tell reality apart from what I thought had happened. This is what you let go of when you get older – you forget the embarrassing stuff you never thought you would forget, the stuff that seemed important at the time, and hold on to things that you probably would have deemed unimportant. It's sad, but also kind of great, too. I hope there are many more of these “small” moments to come.

What is your earliest memory?

. . . .

I will be participating in the 30 day Writing challenge every day this month, but will not be posting all of them. If you're curious, you can view the list of challenges here.

2015 Reading/Writing Goals

It's that time again! Every year, I attempt to make my reading a little more interesting by challenging myself to read and/or reread a specific number of books or pick up a certain type of book that I might have otherwise looked over. I actually did pretty well last year, so here is a new and updated version for 2015!

(I made a video discussing these goals as well, so if you wold like to see that rather than read about it, click here.)


Reading goals:

1. To read — This goal seems pretty obvious, yes, but after the reading-induced stress that I endured during the closing months of 2014, I felt it was necessary. I am not going to set myself a specific number of books to have read and completed by the end of the year and I am definitely not going to track my progress on Goodreads. Instead, I will try to enjoy the books as I pick them up and take plenty of breaks if I need it, even if it means I only get to read a handful of books in the process!

2. To read at least three books from my physical TBR shelf. In order to narrow this goal down, those three books must have been sitting there for at least six months.

3. To reread three books (not including Harry Potter).

4. To finish five series/trilogies.

5. Finish rereading the Harry Potter series — Last year, I said that I wanted to reread the entire Harry Potter series before the end of the year but, unfortunately, this was the one goal I was not able to accomplish. So, I have decided that I would like to carry it over into 2015! I am currently on book five.

Writing Goals:

1. To Write



What are some of your 2015 goals?

On being a "writer."

What business do I have calling myself a "writer?" When was the last time I actually sat down and wrote something? (Well, okay, a few weeks ago. But that was just a bit of fanfiction which was discarded about a half an hour later for some food and a game of Solitaire. So it doesn't really count).